This week, I felt a bit mean. But…I put into practice something which has come up many times in coaching sessions. I met someone new at a conference. At the end, they said, “Let’s exchange numbers.”
I hesitated…they paused too, feeling my hesitation…I then said, “My preferred way to communicate on all business matters is via LinkedIn. Perhaps we can connect there.” They said, “Oh, OK, I will do that later!”
Long story short, the connection on LinkedIn never happened! I didn’t have their surname and hence couldn’t find them.
I write this as I reflect on their reaction. But here’s the thing: in coaching, I frequently discuss boundaries with clients. Many come to me being unable to set boundaries in their personal or professional lives, and this eventually takes its toll!
Years ago, I used a Facebook account for both work and personal use. I realised after a few months that I wasn’t really switching off and was becoming miserable. Removing myself from all work-related things on Facebook was the best decision I made—and that was nine years ago.
In a connected world, I already have Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Bluesky as ways of contact. Almost a fulltime job of managing DMs, notifications, and tagging. Then there is email—a couple of different email accounts—and not forgetting forms on my websites.
So, pardon me for not wishing for yet another form of communication. When I am at home, and my phone rings, it’s for other aspects of my life: family, friends, utility companies, etc.
“Get another phone,” I hear you say! Nope. As I pen this, both people sitting opposite me on the train have two phones each. Whaaat! Are they spies? Plus I wouldn’t wish to contribute to the ever growing ewaste pile, when really and truly there is no need for me to have a second phone.
In my opinion, should you find yourself with a second phone for work, remember to only have it on during work hours and ensure you are not available 24/7!
Prioritise your wellbeing
In a connected world, we need to disconnect. Sounds simple enough, but this can be a challenge, as it frequently comes up in life coaching sessions.
Hopefully, this post has helped you. But if you need more support in your life with boundary setting, then consider working with me as your life coach.
Tips for Setting Boundaries:
These are some of my tips for keeping boundaries in place!
- Know Your Limits: Get clear on what you’re comfortable with—both professionally and personally. Identify what is acceptable and what isn’t before you find yourself in a situation where your boundaries are tested.
- Be Clear and Direct: Don’t be afraid to express your needs or preferences, just like I did at the conference. Whether it’s avoiding mixing personal and professional contacts or setting limits on your availability, communicating clearly helps others respect your space.
- Learn to Say No: Saying “no” is not rude; it’s necessary. Whether it’s declining an extra project or refusing to engage in a certain conversation, “no” helps you protect your time and energy.
- Set Technology Boundaries: Decide when you’re available for work and when you need personal time. Turn off notifications outside of work hours and resist the urge to constantly check emails or messages.
- Take Time to Disconnect: Set aside time to switch off from technology altogether—no phones, no social media, no emails. Create moments in your day where you’re completely offline to recharge.
- Protect Your Time: Don’t allow others to schedule over your planned breaks, workouts, or personal activities. Be firm in honouring your time, and don’t let guilt lead you to overcommit.
- Don’t Over-Explain: You don’t have to justify your boundaries. Whether it’s saying no to a meeting outside of working hours or choosing not to respond to a message immediately, a simple “I’m unavailable at that time” is enough.
- Practice Self-Care: Your boundaries should always align with your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. Make self-care a priority so you can give your best without burning out.
Remember, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect. It might take some time to feel comfortable enforcing them, but over time, it will enhance your relationships, productivity, and overall happiness.
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